'No Labels' Means No Commitment: How Some Avoidants Prefer Relationships
The hidden psychology behind 'keeping things casual'
“I just want to ‘see’ where things go.”
“I don’t like to overthink relationships.”
“Let’s just go with the flow.”
“I’m not looking for anything serious.”
Have you ever heard something like that?
It sounds innocuous, benign, or quirky — but it’s not.
Once, my “girlfriend” — a term I use loosely now, said, “I don’t want you to think of me as your girlfriend.”
Even in the moment, I swept that statement under the rug and just pretended it wasn’t that big of a deal. But hearing her essentially say, “I’m not your girlfriend,” set off alarm bells that I dismissed but should NOT have ignored.
She tried to tell me something, and I didn’t read between the lines.
Here’s the reality of a situation like this, it’s not about being “chill” or “relaxed.”
And so, what’s going on when they avoid labels? And how do you even navigate the emotional roller-coaster and the constant push-pull dynamic of such a relationship?