You Just Realized You're Dating an Avoidant, Now What?

A systematic approach you need to get back your self-respect

Photo by A. L. on Unsplash

You’re not crazy for wanting connection.

Your partner isn’t actually “mysterious,” they’re just emotionally unavailable, and even if they wanted to make an effort to be closer to you, they wouldn’t be able to.

So all the breadcrumbing, mixed signals, and the constant declarations of "I need space” now make sense.

I want you to assume you’ve had all this knowledge, insight, and experience with avoidants and attachment theory downloaded into your mind and you’re now fully aware.

Because that’s what it’s actually like when you gain experience.

There’s no going back.

You have 3 options:

1. Keep playing dumb (i.e. live in denial) and pretend as if nothing’s changed. If you’re fine with the way your relationship is, I’d recommend just going with this route.

2. Stay (for now) but get more strategic and try to build a better relationship with them if it’s possible.

3. Leave as soon as possible.

If you’re ready to choose options 2 or 3, here’s how to do so.

First, I’ll quickly walk you through the avoidant mindset because your strategy is highly dependent on first understanding avoidant attachment as a whole.

Then we’ll get into the most efficient strategies on how to communicate and interact with your avoidant partner.

So let’s get started: