this was such an amazing piece. At first, I found myself disagreeing. I thought, maybe you’ve just been dating women who aren’t secure or emotionally mature. But the more I read, the more I realized I’ve actually done the same thing you described.
I once talked to a guy who was very anxious and emotionally open right from the start. At first, I thought it was refreshing but then I was quickly turned off. I started viewing him as someone I needed to fix—when truthfully, I needed fixing too. I remember thinking why jump into dating if you’re still hung up on your ex and overwhelmed with anxiety?
I wanted someone grounded, someone who could lead—not someone I felt responsible for emotionally carrying. And I think that’s the core of it: vulnerability is beautiful, but only when it’s paced well and shared from a place of emotional self-awareness.
This piece really put words to things I’ve felt but couldn’t articulate. It made me realize why anxious-anxious relationships don’t work… and why anxious-avoidant dynamics are so intense but rarely stable.
Thank you for sharing this perspective—it challenged me and clarified a lot.
Some of the girls I dated weren't secure themselves which amplified the dysfunction. However, it took honest reflection, and lots of painful acknowledgments to realize that when it came down to it, I was the problem and that it was time to change. This piece put to words the things I've learned.
I hate to break it to you, ladies, but there is NO SUCH THING AS AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MAN.
He’s just unavailable to women beneath his level. Even a fresh divorce or widower will fall for the right woman shockingly fast; he’ll surprise even himself on that.
He’ll be nice and say he’s “not looking for anything serious right now.” That means he wants to sleep with you but not keen to commit. He’s confident he’ll find better but won’t say that out loud; he’s in no rush and happy to enjoy your company… but commitment is OFF the table.
I know! Not you, right? I’m here to say, there’s an army of overconfident women whose ego is huge; their simp-ridden DMs assure them they are queens.
But you’re not. There are prettier women at your local Walmart, 7-11, and gym.
It’s why they marry the girl right after you. People and water find their own level. It’s just harder if you keep alpha-widowing yourselves with the bad boy on a Tuesday night.
I couldn’t stop reading… it was a masterpiece.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
this was such an amazing piece. At first, I found myself disagreeing. I thought, maybe you’ve just been dating women who aren’t secure or emotionally mature. But the more I read, the more I realized I’ve actually done the same thing you described.
I once talked to a guy who was very anxious and emotionally open right from the start. At first, I thought it was refreshing but then I was quickly turned off. I started viewing him as someone I needed to fix—when truthfully, I needed fixing too. I remember thinking why jump into dating if you’re still hung up on your ex and overwhelmed with anxiety?
I wanted someone grounded, someone who could lead—not someone I felt responsible for emotionally carrying. And I think that’s the core of it: vulnerability is beautiful, but only when it’s paced well and shared from a place of emotional self-awareness.
This piece really put words to things I’ve felt but couldn’t articulate. It made me realize why anxious-anxious relationships don’t work… and why anxious-avoidant dynamics are so intense but rarely stable.
Thank you for sharing this perspective—it challenged me and clarified a lot.
Some of the girls I dated weren't secure themselves which amplified the dysfunction. However, it took honest reflection, and lots of painful acknowledgments to realize that when it came down to it, I was the problem and that it was time to change. This piece put to words the things I've learned.
I hate to break it to you, ladies, but there is NO SUCH THING AS AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MAN.
He’s just unavailable to women beneath his level. Even a fresh divorce or widower will fall for the right woman shockingly fast; he’ll surprise even himself on that.
He’ll be nice and say he’s “not looking for anything serious right now.” That means he wants to sleep with you but not keen to commit. He’s confident he’ll find better but won’t say that out loud; he’s in no rush and happy to enjoy your company… but commitment is OFF the table.
I know! Not you, right? I’m here to say, there’s an army of overconfident women whose ego is huge; their simp-ridden DMs assure them they are queens.
But you’re not. There are prettier women at your local Walmart, 7-11, and gym.
It’s why they marry the girl right after you. People and water find their own level. It’s just harder if you keep alpha-widowing yourselves with the bad boy on a Tuesday night.
Don’t simp for Chad. Find your level.
Well done. Yeah, everyone has to play their gender role and deviating from it gets you punished one way or the other.